Wednesday, May 1, 2013

What should be perfect but isn't

This past weekend, Saturday was beautiful. Your perfect Spring day. Steve and I took the girls to the park for Ashlyn to play. I sat on the bench enjoying the sun with Adley and as it always goes, Ashlyn decided she had to pee about 15 minutes in. Of course they didn’t have the bathrooms open so we called my parents to see if they were home for her to go since we were out that way. After her potty break we walked up to the park near their house.
On the way home, I was wearing a sleeping Adley in the carrier and Ashlyn was running ahead with my mom and I thought of how perfect our life is, and then instantly that stab of pain came and reminded me just how it will never be perfect.
I am so so very blessed to have such a wonderful life. A loving husband who is good to me, respects me, and loves me for me, two BEAUTIFUL girls here with me, a wonderful supportive family, a nice little house, a job… I have a lot. I have a lot that some people would kill for. Yet, it will never be enough. It will never be perfect. My perfect died on December 2, 2011. My life will never be complete. Never.
Even the simplest of things, like a walk to the park on a beautiful day, can remind me of that, and that sucks! Sucks.