Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Here's to 2014!

    Wow, 2014!  Where did the year go? 
I would say that 2013 was good to me and my little family! 
Adley joined us on January 14th at 9:14 pm.  She is the happiest, sweetest, baby.  She has made our lives so full.  Ashlyn has went from my baby to my little girl.  Not so sure I am happy about that though.... She is the sweetest girl though... usually... unless she is in a mood and she can be pretty darn sassy!  This is the first year since before being being pregnant with Quinn in 2011 that I have felt good.  The days and months after July 20, 2011 have been hard but this past year, they have been less hard.  There are still moments where I have a hard time believing that I am the mother to a dead daughter, don't get me wrong, and I miss her still with everything that I am but I am doing....better.  I can say that I am out of the fog, out of the deep grief and am in "new normal" stage I guess. 
It is hard to start a new year and leave Quinn further behind.  It always will be, but at the same time, I am looking forward to the future.  I am looking forward to watching my sweet Ashlyn and Adley grow and work on a better marriage with Steve.  I will be honest, your daughter dying and everything that comes along with it can take a toll on your marriage.  I think we are both at a point in our grief that it is time that we can stop looking inward and start looking to each other, too.  We can grow closer again, like we used to be.  Stop being just Ashlyn, Quinn, and Adley's mom & dad and become Meghan & Steve, the couple, again. 
My resolution for 2014 is to be a better me.  In every way that I can be.  Take care of myself more and put me first for a change.  Wash my face before bed, work out again, lose some more weight, get up earlier so I am not rushing in the morning, be more organized, be more patient with the girls, just work on being a better me!  Oh, and maybe even to blog more ;)

I hope you have a very happy and safe New Years!