Turns out that Wednesday was my last doctor appointment. We discussed with the midwife our desire to be induced at 39 weeks. I am rather miserable seeing as I am carrying a small pool around everyday and we are just ready. Of course we will never be fully ready but we are as ready as we will ever be and need to move on with our lives. for almost 19 weeks now we have lived in limbo. Will Quinney be born alive? Will she live for only hours or will we get weeks or years with her? So many questions that have been hanging over our head for so long and we need to face them. Molly, one of our midwives, agreed with all of our reasoning but also wanted to check with the doctors. She said that she would talk to a few of them and then give me a call in the afternoon to let me know. The first doctor that she spoke to was Dr Davis and he wanted to meet with Steve and I as well. He informed us that no one there has any issues with our birth plan and are fully supportive of our decisions to treat aggressively. Seeing as that is our choice he wanted us to know the likelihood that I will end up with a c-section. Babies with trisomy just do not respond well to labor and knowing our plan he could not sit there and watch her heart rate for long. There is a good chance that I might only have one or two contractions before they decide that it is too much for Quinn and decide that we should go for the section. I am fine with this my only request is that I do not have to be put to sleep. We discussed that we would put a catheter in early for the epi so if I were to have to go for the section right away they would be prepared and could start the meds. Dr Davis also agreed that it would be best for us to be induced as it is a controlled environment.... or at least as controlled as it can be and everyone is prepared for what is occurring. I was very comfortable with everything that we discussed and we went ahead and decided that we would induce on Monday which is exactly 39 weeks.
So Monday, November 28th is to be my Quinney's birthday. Unless of course Quinn decides to come early.... I mean today is only Friday......
Steve and I are excited for Monday to meet Quinn but are also terrified. I don't think that there is a word strong enough to say how scared I am. I am so afraid that she will be born still or that she will die right after birth. I am so scared of all of the possibilites that might occur but I know that no matter what it will also bring some peace to have answers one way or another and to just get to hold our baby girl.
Steve and I are both on edge this weekend but are doing the best we can. Wednesday evening was rough but we have talked and worked it out and are just doing everything we can to stay positive.