Tuesday, August 28, 2012

9 months - a gift

9 months ago today I met my beautiful Quinn!

And to celebrate my daughter's 9th month birthday I received this....
The final sketch of Quinn's headstone!!! 
It took 3 different sketches but I think I am happy.  I think....  I am.  It is perfect.  She is my butterfly and there is one for each day that she was with us.  The quote is perfect.  Everything is perfect yet I still got all panicky when I gave the final approval.  This is it, so final.  There are very few things that I get to do for my daughter now that she is gone.  I got to plan her funeral and how I wanted people to remember her, and frankly, I think we did a damn good job!  I got to pick out the only outfit that she would ever wear and now I get to pick what will be her marker forever.  It is really one of the last tangible things that I get to do for her and with that over I feel..... I feel.... sad.  Very sad!
I miss my Bean.  More than I ever thought possible, I miss my Bean!
I would like to thank Memorials of Angels for donating this headstone to Quinn and our family!  Please, if you have a couple of extra dollars to spare, please donate to this wonderful organization! 
Happy 9 month birthday Quinn Elise!  I love you my sweet darling baby!


mbehm said...

The headstone is beautiful! Our babies were only two weeks apart (Thomas died on Quinn's birthday), and we just got his headstone last week. It feels so much better to visit with the stone there...I think you will feel the same way. It just feels more complete. Congratulations on your pregnancy, and for making it through another milestone.

Still Playing School said...

I've been comforted knowing that I can continue to do things for and in memory of Violet. They might not be tangible for her, but when I realized I can make things for her for the rest of my life even though hers is over, I felt better.

Meghan said...

I am sure that you are right! I am sure that it will feel much better to know that she has a beautiful marker so the world can she her "spot" all that much more. It just makes everything so final! I am so thankful that we will have it but it is still hard to believe that this was a process that we had to go through. Designing a headstone for our children... it just isn't right!!!

You are right, as usual =) I can and will continue to do things for Quinn forever and I know that she will see that and smile down on me. I swear as long as I am living that my baby girl will never be forgotten because that is when she will actually die, when no one remembers her.

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