Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Busy Buys Bee

Bee has a very busy week this week! Today is my normal midwife appointment. Today it is with Laura so I am a bit anxious. Laura is the midwife who delivered Quinn and I haven't seen her since that day. I am excited to see her because she is fabulous but then a little nervous too. I am also anxious to find out what the heart rate is. You know, that old wives tale that high is a girl, low is a boy. Quinn was actually always rather low, well compared to Ashlyn that is. Ashlyn was always in the 160s and Quinn tended to be low 150s.
Only about 3.5 days until we will know! Eeekkkk!!! Right now I am VERY anxious for our 20 week ultrasound tomorrow. thank God it is first thing in the morning. I am so freaking nervous! For one, the ultrasound is with Dr Stewart who is the same doctor that told us of Quinn's condition. I am scared. I am looking forward to seeing my Bee but at the same time I am dreading it. I am so nervous that there could be something wrong! Ugh! We have not yet had a real ultrasound so I haven't had a chance to see this baby at all really. I have no idea what is going on in there. The first ultrasound was so early that there was barely the flutter of a heartbeat. The second ultrasound was just a quick one to see the heartbeat since Dr Douche (love you Emily) couldn’t find it with the doppler. I didn't get to see anything other than there was a baby and yes, there was a heartbeat. So, this will be the first time that I will actually get to really get a look at my baby. I just pray that all of the pieces and parts are there and that everything looks just as it should! I am so anxious to know for sure that Bee is healthy and happy in there and I get to plan on keeping him or her forever!
Him or Her? So, what do you think? I still don't know. I just don't know. I have all along hoped that we were having another girl and I will admit that I still do. I am very much okay with us having a boy too, though. Really, I am. The thought is growing on me and I know that as long as they are healthy I will happy! Whether it is a boy or a girl I can tell you that they are an active little Bee! I never felt Ashlyn or Quinn until after 20 weeks but this one I have been feeling for a while. I just didn't admit it right away. I have this crazy thing that I am afraid to admit that I am feeling them because what if I go to the doctor and they tell me that they aren't there? Then I am crazy because I thought I was feeling them…. Yeah, I know, I have problems, I know this! I am going to go ahead and admit that I am indeed feeling this little Bee though and it makes me smile every time I feel that little pop!
So, that is it. Busy week with appointments and then getting ready for the party on Sunday. I. can't. wait. I would love to just cheat and have the tech tell Steve and I tomorrow but I won't. I think it will be so much fun to have the excitement of finding out surrounded with our friends and family and especially with Ashlyn there! She is going to be such an amazing big sister to Bee just as she is to Quinn!


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