Ultrasound

Sorry to take so long to post, we have been so busy that I just haven't had a chance.  I also needed a little bit of time to process everything.  Overall the ultrasound went really well.  I started out the morning dreading it though.  The thought of going back to the office had me on the verge of an anxiety attack.  I just didn't know how to face the place where my whole world changed forever.  I got up that morning thinking of July 20th.  I remember waking up from a bad dream that morning and telling Steve all about the dream as I lay on the table in the doctors office.  I remember sitting in the waiting room waiting to get called back and watching a news story of a man that lost his entire family when a sudden flood carried their car off of the road.  Steve and I talked about how terrible that would be and how neither of us thought that we could ever go on if we had to live through something like that.  I was so nervous on how I would react when i had to face it all again. 
We got there on Wednesday and thankfully didn't have to wait too long.  Well if you think that a half hour isn't a long time.  Right as they were taking us back Julie, our case manager from Children's Hospital was coming in.  The tech started the ultrasound and then Dr Stewart came in.  From what they could see the omphalocele only contains bowel.  I thought that this would be something that we should be really happy about but the doctor didn't seem to think it really mattered much.  He was really getting on my nerves.  I guess from his point of view even if the omphalocele isn't as bad as it could be she still has Trisomy 13.  I just wanted to celebrate this tiny little victory and felt like he was stealing it from me.   Other than that most everything else looked the same.  She does indeed have a Dandy Walker cyst and that is causing her head to be larger, around the 99th percentile.  She is weighing around 4 pounds and has a lot of hair.  My fluid is on the upper levels of normal and there are no signs that she will come early other than statistics.  So other than Dr Stewart raining on my little parade I had going on because the omphalocele is relatively small, it went well. 

That night I asked Steve how he felt about the appointment overall and he surprised me when he said sad.  I was expecting that he would feel like I did that we had one small victory so this took me by surprise.  I asked why and he said that when Dr Stewart was talking about how much hair Quinney had he sort of looked at him and smiled and it just made him sad.  Of course this broke my heart.